“…so that you may live a life worthy of the Lord and please him in every way.” Col 1:10
This is indeed quite a tall order, a kind of calling we can never measure up to. How can our lives ever be worthy of the Lord? Surely we have been called to do the impossible and to be someone we can never be.
This is rather discouraging, isn’t it? How can we spend our entire life feeling that we are a disappointment to all our loved ones and, unfortunately, to our Heavenly Father as well?
Not only I am a disappointment to both my earthly father and my Heavenly Father, I am also a disappointment to myself. Before I was converted, I could at least adjust my standard according to my performance, and come to terms with myself. This is no longer a viable option since my conversion, for the benchmark remains immovable and I have no choice but to try to conform to it.
Every single act of sin becomes a reminder of the cruel reality that I still have feet of clay and not worthy to be called a child of light.
I seem to have missed the fact that the Lord is omniscient who knows me better than I know myself and his expectation for me may not be as unrealistic as what I have for myself. Surely his expectation for a five-talent man is different from his requirement from a one-talent man. Surely the all-knowing God will never get disappointed about anything, for disappointment implies lack of knowledge concerning the future.
Foreknowledge shelters us from being disappointed about anything and also enables us to be more understanding and considerate. What the Lord requires from us isn’t necessarily the result of our own effort; it’s rather the effort itself.
Why should I be discouraged about myself if the Lord isn’t disappointed in me? I have always thought my dad was disappointed in me, for I didn’t turn out to be what he had envisioned, yet this may not be so at all, for my father never breathed a word about it. He might indeed have been very proud of me and was pleased with me in every way.
We have been conjuring up a lot of things on our spiritual journey concerning our Lord’s feelings towards us, and a lot of them are merely the result of our vain imagination, which has nothing to do with the truth.
The truth is found in the book of Romans that says “for God’s gifts and his call are irrevocable.” We may have a lot of regrets concerning the call because of our low performance, but there is absolutely no regret in the Lord.
Wednesday, May 2, 2018 5:45:00 AM