“But everything exposed by the light becomes visible—and everything that is illuminated becomes a light.” Eph 5:13
Being in the light is to be exposed by the light and everything we do should be illuminated by the light and, consequently, all our deeds are enlightened and transparent.
There shouldn’t be any skeletons in our closet.
Because of our distrust of people, we may not have the courage to be entirely transparent before men for fear of losing people’s love and respect, yet we should at least to be totally visible before God. How do we do it? Through repentance, of course. The repentance of our past offenses and sins should know no bounds, at least consciously.
Evidently, St. Augustine had mostly forgotten what sins he had committed as a little child, yet he was able to know what they might have been by observing how most children behaved and he repented of his sins accordingly. Indeed, by reading his confession we come to realize how extensive his repentance was.
Come to think of it, I have never brought before the Lord in repentance my lack of love and disrespect for my parents. I had always wanted to leave my parents ever since I was a boy and had no consideration of how my parents might have felt. I have never repented of this particular offense, not even once. I have often thought about writing a book similar to St. Augustine, yet I am just too cowardly to do so, for fear of being exposed.
Up to this day, I can only be transparent before God, not before men, for unlike flesh and blood, the Lord is all forgiving and all covering, and even though we are exposed before him, we don’t have to be afraid of being disposed.
We can never be a light in the world if we are not exposed by the light of God first, for the light of God is a consuming fire that burns away all the filth in our life. Sin keeps us in the dark, but God’s light brings us to the light.
“Humility is endless,” Eliot wrote in the “Four Quartets.” By the same token, repentance is also endless, and only through constant repentance can we be truly humble, for true humility become possible only through self-awareness. People will always be blinded of who they essentially are unless they are exposed by the light of God.
O Lord, may I constantly by exposed, illuminated, and enlightened by the light, and may the pure and scorching fire of the Lord burn up both my repented and unrepented sins, the iniquities of my unremembered past and unseen future, so that I can become bright light in the world, for “everything that is illuminated becomes a light.”